janecrocker: do you ever see the person you have a crush on do something really fucking ridiculous and you just watch and think “ah yes this is where i have laid my affections”
me: i'll do it at 7PM
me: oops too late gotta wait till 8 now
sooooo i needed to get money exchanged for Botswana on Friday and the bank also told me Botswana was not a real country……….. the only place i could get $ to Pula was the consulate in nyc and only 75$… apparently I’m going to a made up country..
catswithbenefits: i love 50 cent, or as he is known in Zimbabwe; four hundred million dollars
jesussbabymomma: jesussbabymomma: is it petsmart or petsmart thanks
do u ever just make scenarios in your head that will never happen but makes you so happy so you just keep on imagining them
zooeyclairedeschahell: “cool jeans,” i tell a cute boy little did he know that i actually talking about his genes because those chromosomes have combined beautifully ay papi
starksexual: i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou: I literally have no idea what my personality is Like I go from being an arrogant bitch to a studious, conscientious hard-worker, to a lazy procrastinator, to an overly-emotional fangirl In a matter of seconds
dean-ilostmyshoe: loverstabbedaswordthroughmyheart: i-was-so-alone-and-iou-so-much: vangoghstars: sparkafterdark: glamour-parade: How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you I’m pretty much positive that’s why poetry was even invented in the first place. for the constellations of your skin to brush against the earth of mine i would swim the seas a...
shalrath: what doesnt kill you gives you exp points
castiel-is-wonderful: sionainnlindsay: castiel-is-wonderful: WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP IS ‘MRS’ JUST MR’S LIKE BELONGING TO MR OMG Mr comes from the French monsieur, which I think literally translates as ‘my lord’ and basically just means master, and Mrs comes from maistre which is the feminine form of master, so actually—for once—no. This was an extremely relevant comment and I thank...
scareeps: those booty shorts really bring out your personality
selfdoubtandsyphilis: dankestrnemes: do animals think in english or in the sounds they make this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
falloutyoungmale: I write sins not five page research papers
mntrose: The most horrific thing about getting close to someone is the thought that at any point, they could lose complete interest in you
barricadeponine: i wish i was a mermaid so i could have a nice shiny tail and a pretty seashell bra and a beautiful voice that i could use to entice cute boys and make them crash their ships and drown at sea so human women could rise as the dominate gender of the land
enoljras: if after seeing The Great Gatsby you decide you want to live in the 1920s, you missed the entire point of The Great Gatsby.
ccomicsloth: saying “its just hormones” to an upset teenager to make them feel better is like saying “its just gravity” to someone who fell off of the top of a 10 story building
chihayahearts: jaclcfrost: if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners